Well Fuck, I Have Multiple Sclerosis

And that's really all I have to say about it right now.

Multiple Sclerosis- The Lumbar Puncture

"I hope you don't have MS. That would be TERRIBLE."

That's what the nurse said to me before handing me a Coca Cola. I was lying down completely flat in a hospital bed. Let me be honest with you, I cringed. I cringed at what the nurse said. I also cringed because no way in hell would I be able to lie completely flat AND drink a soda.

I wondered if Coke reps had to hard-sell soda to Neurology departments as a cure-all for lumbar puncture headaches.

The lumbar puncture (spinal tap) was a non-event. Thankfully. I've experienced more pain buttoning up jeans I should have stopped wearing five pounds ago.

A man two curtains away from me was yelling, "I can't lie still for an hour! It can't be done! I won't!" The nurse attempted to calm him. "Sir, we haven't done your procedure yet. You don't have to lie still."

The Coke and its bent straw stared at me from a shelf overhead.

I spent an hour reading news on my phone and then I went home.

I got my test results more than a week later. It was after I finished jury duty, or rather was immediately excused from jury duty after having revealed that I have seizures inside of a courtroom filled with people. Man, I've never seen doors open so fast. It was mortifying and magical.