I Am Alive

I felt something last night. I felt normal. Really normal.

It was my twelfth seizure free day and I felt ALIVE, fully ALIVE. I have missed that feeling more than anything else, that ability to connect, to engage, to live. It came back last night - warm fuzzy feelings and compassion. Love. My brain was processing love.

In addition to my medication, I started a restricted low-carb diet on Friday, November 15th. I have not had a seizure since Sunday November 17th. I have only experienced a few visual illusions, small blue sparks - the kind that generally lead to pre-ictal fear and then simple complex, tonic and absence seizures. There is no fear. The sparks come. The sparks go. No seizures.

The first few days it felt like a coincidence. It had to be.

My life brought a great deal of stress that week and yet I had no seizures. Not one. My calendar remained blank.

By week two I was back on the treadmill. I feel compelled to exercise. I am not lying on the couch. I am not exhausted from seizures.

I ate turkey and a bit of green veggies on Thanksgiving. I did not miss the stuffing, the candied yams, the cranberry - they looked delicious but I did not miss the seizures.

On day twelve, yesterday, I felt compelled to add Yoga. My body and brain wanted to stretch and relax. I rolled out my pink Yoga mat. Calm. Balance. Breathe.

It is 6:30 AM and I feel alive, alive in a way I have not felt in a very long time. <3