I have completely lost it right? How do I think I'm going to lower my dosage of medication to "stretch" it out until an undetermined future date? I don't know but I'm really trying to lower my dosage back down to what I was prescribe initially in April. Why? Because I cannot get anyone but a Neurologist to increase my dosage of medication. I can get refills from a Physicians Assistant, no problem. Problem is I am only prescribed 1000mg per day. I need twice that amount to make the pink days go away.
Sunday sucks. Big time.
By afternoon I am lying on the floor in the bathroom while my boyfriend stands over me and tries to communicate with my uncommunicative body. Of course I don't remember any of this. I do remember going into the bathroom. I do remember lying down. Sometimes when I get an aura I will get this very strong urge to lie down for my own safety.
On the floor I lie in a painful contorted fetal position. I am unresponsive. I am making crying noises.
When I return from my little painful trip I am looking at red shoes. Red shoes? Yeah, my boyfriend's shoes. What the hell am I doing on the floor?
He talks to me in a calm voice and makes me lie down on the couch. I am exhausted. I still refuse to take a dose of medication that will help me out. I mean, I'm gonna beat this thing. I'm tough. You canduit!
By late in the evening I have lost. I am, ahem, according to observations, continuing to assume painful contorted fetal positions and becoming unresponsive.
I come to exhausted. My right temporal lobe feels like it is mushy and bruised. I spit blood into the bathroom sink. I cry and cry and cry.
Take your medicine. Take it now. Take enough. Now. Now. Now. Go take your medicine. Go take it. Take it now.
He has to tell me a hundred times.
I finally begrudgingly take a full 1,000 mg dose. It isn't a miracle but within an hour I feel slightly better. My body begins to relax. I think I can sleep tonight.
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